Helping Children Cope During Visits to the Doctor

Going to the doctor, health care provider, or the hospital can feel scary for children. These tips can help make your child’s visits easier based on their age and development.

Babies (Birth to 12 Months)

During their first year, babies learn to trust people who care for them in gentle and consistent ways. They use their 5 senses: touch, taste, smell, seeing, and hearing, to explore the world around them.

  • Smile and talk softly to your baby. Use a calm, soothing voice or play gentle music.
  • Comfort your baby with soft touches. If you can, have someone they know hold them during the visit.
  • Distract your baby by singing, making funny faces, or playing peek-a-boo.
  • Feed your baby after stressful parts of the visit, like getting shots or having bloodwork.

Toddlers (1 to 3 Years)

Toddlers are learning to make choices and do things on their own. They’re also starting to learn self-control and how to express their feelings.

  • Let your child sit on your lap during the physical exam or vaccines, if safe to do so.
  • Use distractions, like blowing bubbles, singing, or reading together.
  • If you tell your toddler about the visit, do it no more than one day in advance.
  • Use simple words to explain what the doctor is doing. Focus on what your child will see, hear, or feel. Avoid words that may sound scary.

Preschoolers (3 to 5 Years)

Preschoolers have active imaginations and may not always know what is real and what is pretend. Helping them understand what they can expect makes the visit feel less scary.

  • Have someone your child knows stay in the room for support. Let your child sit on your lap during the physical exam or vaccines, if safe to do so.
  • Get your child involved. Let them help by holding supplies or opening a bandage. Let them pick a distraction, like a toy or game.
  • Read books about doctor visits. Let your child play pretend doctor with a doll or stuffed animal and talk about what will happen. You can ask the doctor or health care provider to show what they will do on the toy first.

School-Age (6 to 12 Years)

School-age children are learning how to get along with others and understand what’s expected of them. They do best when they feel prepared and supported.

  • Focus on your child’s positive behaviors and strengths. Praise them for trying their best.
  • Talk about the visit a day or two before. Be honest and let them ask questions or share worries. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. For example, avoid saying they won’t get a shot if you’re not sure.
  • Let your child choose a coping strategy for stressful parts of the visit. They might want to read, take deep breaths, listen to music, watch what’s happening, or hold your hand. Practice these skills before the visit.
  • Remind your child that it’s okay to cry, but they need to hold still so the doctor or health care provider can help them safely.

Teens (13 Years and Older)

Teens are learning to make their own choices and value their privacy. They often care deeply about body image, friendships, and independence. Letting your teen have time with their health care provider gives them practice and helps them feel more confident talking about their health.

  • Talk about the visit about one week ahead of time. Be honest, include your teen in decisions, and encourage them to ask the health care provider questions.
  • Support your teen in choosing coping strategies that work for them, like listening to music, practicing relaxation, watching videos, or helping during parts of the visit.

For Children of All Ages

No matter your child’s age, there are ways you can help make doctor and health care provider visits go more smoothly.

  • Be a role model. Stay calm. Show your child how to act during the visit.
  • Focus on the positive. Praise your child for what they do well.
  • Give your child choices. For young children keep it simple, like “Do you want them to measure how tall you are or how much you weigh first?”
  • Avoid using threats. Don’t say things like, “If you’re not good, the doctor will give you a shot.”
  • Use rewards, not bribes. A bribe is offering a treat before the visit if your child behaves. A reward is giving a treat after the visit for trying their best.
  • Encourage your child to talk with friends about what has helped them cope.
  • Speak up for your child’s needs. You can ask the doctor or health care provider to slow down or use simple words your child can understand.

 

 

Helping Hands™ Patient Education Materials

Helping Hands™ are easy-to-read guides about different illnesses, therapies, surgeries, and more. They’re created by the Patient Education team at Nationwide Children’s Hospital and are reviewed and approved by clinical staff, like nurses, doctors, pharmacists, and psychologists. Nationwide Children's Hospital is not responsible for misuse of information in patient education materials, including Helping Hands.

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