Intimate Partner Violence in Teens: What to Watch For
Oct 18, 2022
Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a pattern of behaviors aimed to exert power and control over a partner and can manifest in a multitude of ways. IPV can greatly affect physical and/or mental health.
What is Teen Dating Violence?
Teen dating violence is a form of IPV that happens between two teens who are, or were, in a relationship.
Violence can take different forms – including:
Physical violence – for example: hitting, shoving, kicking, use of physical force
Emotional violence – for example: controlling behaviors, monitoring social media use, name calling, embarrassing someone, bullying (in person, online, texting), keeping someone away from their friends and family
Sexual violence – for example: forcing a partner to engage in a sex act when they did not or could not consent, posting sexual pictures or other sexual content without someone’s consent, manipulating someone’s birth control
How Frequently Does Teen Dating Violence Happen?
Unfortunately, teen dating violence is common. The CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey in 2019 found that of those U.S. high school students who reported dating during the 12 months before the survey, 1 in 12 experienced physical dating violence and 1 in 12 experienced sexual dating violence. This may be underreported, as many teens are unaware of unhealthy relationship characteristics or may be afraid to talk about their experiences.
Teen dating violence crosses all racial, ethnic, religious, educational and socioeconomic lines. However, some people are at greater risk than others. Female students experienced higher rates of physical and sexual dating violence than male students. Students who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ) or those who were unsure of their gender identity experienced higher rates of physical and sexual dating violence compared to students who identified as heterosexual.
What are the Consequences of Teen Dating Violence?
Teens who experience dating violence are more likely to experience depression and anxiety, use tobacco, alcohol and/or drugs, have poor academic performance, exhibit antisocial behaviors (lying, theft, bullying, hitting), and think about suicide.
What are Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship?
Recognizing unhealthy relationships is very important. Some characteristics of an unhealthy relationship include being dishonest, disrespectful, hostile, co-dependent or controlling as well as the following extremely dangerous behaviors:
Intimidation – One partner tries to control aspects of the other's life by making the other partner fearful or timid, or attempt to keep their partner from friends and family, or threaten violence or a break-up.
Physical violence – One partner uses force, such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving, to get their way.
Sexual violence – One partner pressures or forces the other into sexual activity without their consent.
What are Signs of Healthy Relationships?
People in healthy relationships display characteristics such as mutual respect, trust, honesty, compromise, individuality, self-confidence, and good communication and problem-solving skills.
In addition, when problems do come up, two people in a healthy relationship handle them in healthy ways. When angry, they use strategies like taking a deep breath, counting to ten, or talking it out. They fight fairly, avoiding insults and working together to resolve the issue. When in a sexual relationship, both partners are comfortable and neither partner feels pressured or forced to engage in sexual activity that is outside their comfort zone or without consent.
What Can I Do?
Education is key! It’s important that pre-teens and teens learn how to have a healthy relationship, manage their feelings, and communicate well with their partner. Learning about what a healthy and unhealthy relationship looks like before teens start dating is crucial.
Also, teens learn by example – when family, friends, and role models lead healthy lives and have healthy relationships, this empowers teens to do so too!
Parents and caregivers can:
Check in regularly with teens about their relationships in a calm, non-judgmental way
Call out positive and healthy relationship behaviors
Be honest about concerns you may have about their relationships
Encourage your teen to use their voice and know their worth
Let your teen know that you are always there for them
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