Problem Solving: How to Teach Young Children

Problem solving is a very important skill that we need to teach children from a young age. The simplest problems can be of great concern to children; for example, if we have four kids and three cookies, who gets (or doesn’t get) a cookie? My answer would be to take two of the cookies, split each in half and give each child a half of a cookie…and mom gets the left-over cookie!

As parents or caregivers, we will not always be available to solve the cookie debate, a tough math problem or negative peer pressure. Kids in all age ranges, face problems and challenges every day. Our job is to prepare them for these decisions by teaching them how to solve problems by themselves.

A child who lacks problem-solving skills may avoid taking action when faced with a problem. They may get frustrated or give up when something seems too challenging. On the contrary, having problem-solving skills builds confidence. A child with problem-solving skills keep going until they find a solution; they’re creative thinkers and can adapt better in a variety of settings.

Here are four strategies for teaching problem-solving skills to children:

1. Set a good example. Children learn by watching us; let them see how you deal with problems.
2. Involve your child in family problem-solving meetings. Encourage your child to participate in solving a small family problem. They’ll learn while building confidence.
3. Teach your child the steps toward solving problems:
   • State the problem clearly
   • Come up with some possible solutions – brainstorm together
   • Choose what seems like the best solution
   • Try out the solution
   • Review how the solution worked and make changes, if necessary
4. Encourage your child to solve their own problems. Having your support on stand-by while they practice their skills will help them find success.

The methods used to teach problem solving provide more challenge with age:

• 3-5 years: Name and validate emotions, ask “show me” and use creative play.
• 5-7 years: Don’t forget their feelings, use the problem-solving steps above and ask open-ended questions, like “what do you think will happen next?”
• 7-9 years: Break down the problem into smaller parts, use the problem-solving steps above and ask open-ended questions.

Problem-solving skills are best taught in the moment. When your child comes to you to talk or ask a question, that is when they are more likely ready to learn. It’s important for parents and caregivers to show up and be present when those moments occur. Remember to give them your attention. Listen, show empathy, ask open-ended questions, and guide them as much as they need but do not solve the problem for them.

If you are looking for more tips around positive parenting, Nationwide Children’s Hospital offers free Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) support on a wide variety of topics for parents of young children. For more information, click here, email TripleP@NationwideChildrens.org or call (614) 355-8099.