10 Tips to Teach Your Kids How to Combat Bullying

Bullying is an adverse childhood experience and is a frequent discipline problem in schools. It can happen in person and across digital devices such as cell phones, computers, and tablets, otherwise known as cyberbullying.

A 2022 national survey found that 19.2% of students ages 12-18 reported being bullied during school, with 21.6% of those students being bullied online or by text. Additionally, the prevalence of bullying is higher in middle school than high school, and higher among females than males.

As a parent or caregiver, how can you recognize the signs and offer your child help?

Why Do Kids Bully?

Understanding the root cause of bullying is key to addressing it. Children may engage in bullying behavior for many reasons. Younger kids may act out aggressively as they’re still learning to manage emotions and resolve conflicts. Some children imitate negative behaviors they’ve seen at home or in media, while others may use bullying as a defense mechanism after experiencing mistreatment themselves. Family stress or trauma can also contribute.

Importantly, children who bully often need support and guidance too. Viewing bullying as a behavior to change can open doors to meaningful growth for all involved.

Spotting the Signs

Every child responds to bullying differently and for some, the signs can be subtle. Some children bounce back quickly, while others may show emotional or physical symptoms. Be mindful of:

• Sudden changes in mood or behavior
• Reluctance to go to school or social events
• Tearfulness, anxiety, or withdrawal
• Complaints of stomachaches or headaches
• Unexplained outbursts or conflict with family and peers
• Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting
• Emotional responses to what is happening on their device
• Hidden screens or devices when others are near
• Avoidance of discussion about what they are doing on their device
• Disappearance of social media accounts and appearance of new ones

If you notice these signs, create a safe space for open conversation. Let your child know you’re there to listen and not to judge.

How to Combat Bullying

Effective strategies to combat bullying behaviors include teaching interpersonal skills like empathy and conflict management, as well as safe ways to stand up against it. Strategies include:

1. Encourage regular conversation about school, friendships and emotions, and how their behavior impacts others.
2. Have open conversations about feelings, especially related to conflict, and help them label and express their feelings.
3. Encourage kids to consider other perspectives and find common ground.
4. Practice self-control skills by role-playing situations where you child stays calm and self-assured. This can help them decrease impulsive behaviors.
5. Students experiencing bullying can discourage bullying attempts by first trying to simply ignore the behavior. This will be less rewarding for the bully, who will then be less likely to continue the behavior.
6. Setting boundaries and simply telling the bully to stop in a non-emotional manner is another way to disarm them. A simple, firm “Please stop” can sometimes be effective. In some cases, not reacting can make bullying less rewarding for the instigator.
7. There’s safety in numbers. Encourage your child to keep a friend around them to stop bullying attempts.
8. If possible, parents or guardians should attempt to contact the bullies’ parents or guardians. There is a chance they are unaware of the bully’s behavior and will disapprove of it and address it accordingly.
9. If contacting the parent or guardian is not helpful and the bullying occurs in the school setting, contact the school staff. Many public schools are mandated to have a process to address bullying in their school.
10. If there is a threat of physical harm, or if a potential crime or illegal behavior is occurring, contact the police.

If your child is in involved in cyberbullying, there are additional steps to take to combat it. Keep a record of what is happening and when. This includes taking screenshots of texts, harmful posts or content if possible. If the cyberbullying involves a classmate, in addition to reporting it to the school, report it to the app or social media platforms to have it removed. Establish rules to promote appropriate digital behavior and content.

The Children’s Advocacy Project (CAP4Kids) provides resources for parents. If your child’s school has a school-based behavioral health therapist, have your child talk to them about bullying or click here to learn more about Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s school-based therapy.