Imaginary Friends: Should You Worry?

If your child has an imaginary friend, you are not alone. Young children who are in preschool or in their early school years may report having an imaginary friend. The good news is that having an imaginary friend is usually a normal and healthy party of child development.

Research shows that imaginary friends can be a sign of creativity, emotional growth, and strong problem-solving skills. Imaginary friends can help children practice how to deal with big feelings, learn how to make friends, and work through real-world situations in a safe and playful way.

Below is some information on what you should know about supporting your child’s imagination. There is also information on when it might be a good idea to ask for help.

How Can I Support My Child if They Have an Imaginary Friend?

• Be Curious:
  Ask your child about their imaginary friend. What is their friend’s name? What do they like to do together? Let your child take the lead in talking about their imaginary friend.
• Join the Play:
  Playing along when your child talks about their imaginary friend can them build more trust with you. This may also help you understand what your child is thinking about. It will give you a chance to support your child’s learning of emotions and social skills in a fun way.
• Use It to Teach:
  Sometimes imaginary friends help kids work through difficult times, like when they may be starting a new school or dealing with a new sibling. You can generally support your child as they explore big feelings through pretend play.

What If My Child Blames Their Imaginary Friend for Misbehavior?

It is not unusual for children to blame an imaginary friend when they get into trouble. If your child does this, try to stay calm. Start by taking a deep breath to calm down. You might say something like, “Even though your friend might have helped, we still need to clean this up together.” This approach shows your child that you respect their imagination and encourages them to own up to their actions.

When Should I Be Concerned?

Most imaginary friends are friendly, fun, and harmless. However, it might be time to check in with your child’s doctor or a mental health professional if you notice:

• The imaginary friend seems scary, aggressive, or threatening.
• Your child’s play with the imaginary friend causes them a lot of fear, sadness, or distress.
• Your child’s behavior changes suddenly, or they stop doing activities they used to enjoy.

Imaginary friends are often a healthy sign of imagination and emotional development. If you ever have concerns about your child’s play or emotional health, talk with your child’s pediatrician. Families in central Ohio can also connect with Nationwide Children’s Behavioral Health for support (614-355-8080).