Self-Care for Parents of Children with Mental Health Needs

First published May 2017
Updated March 2026

Joy, anticipation, frustration, worry and pride are all common feelings that most parents have as they raise their child. When that child has a mental illness, those feelings can become more intense and overwhelming, leaving parents feeling discouraged and confused about the future. While mental illness can change our hopes for the future, it does not take away a child’s potential. And caring for a child’s mental health also means caring for the caregiver.

Why Caregiver Support Matters

Children depend on trusted, stable adults to help them build coping skills and resilience. When parents and caregivers take care of their own well-being, they are better able to respond calmly, make informed decisions and model healthy habits.

Key reminders for caregivers:

• Let go of blame or guilt. Mental health conditions are influenced by a child’s genetics, their brain, the environment, and life experiences. Mental health conditions are not simply a result of poor parenting.
• Share the facts. Age-appropriate conversations about a diagnosis or treatment can reduce stigma and help children feel supported Kids’ mental health challenges generally come with a good prognosis, because their brains are in a good development place to benefit from treatment, which can leave them feeling better.
• Expect progress, not perfection. Treatment and recovery take time. Mistakes and setbacks are part of the learning process for both children and adults.
• Learn from trusted sources. Using vetted, professional resources to understand symptoms, treatment options and what to expect can reduce fear and help families feel more confident.
• Use evidence-based care. Ask your child’s professional providers about therapies and support that are backed by research. If you have concerns about treatment, it is okay to ask questions or seek a second opinion from other vetted professionals.
• Build a healthy support network. If caregiving becomes overwhelming, talk with a provider about additional services or higher levels of care when needed. In addition, non-professional networks—friends, family members, religious and cultural communities—can also be very helpful.

Taking Care of Yourself Helps Your Child

Most parents roll their eyes when asked if they are taking care of themselves, but self-care is not a luxury, it is an active strategy for taking care of your child’s mental health well. Overlooking your own self-care as a parent or caregiver can be detrimental to your child. When caregivers are rested, supported, socializing and eating well, they can be at their best when their child needs it.

Simple ways to support your own well-being:

• Start small, but consistent. This combination is what creates real, durable mental health. Link your small actions to a habit you already have, to help it stick. Create a five-minute walk by parking in a neighboring lot at work. Practice two minutes of gratitude while brushing your teeth. Call a friend after Friday dinners. Take two minutes to slow your breathing before you start your day. Be creative, keep it simple, and make it work with your routines.
• Accept help where it’s available. Trusted friends or family members may be able to assist with some tasks, like childcare, transportation or daily tasks. You may need to tell people what you need. Let your community be present for you.
• Connect with other parents. Parent support groups provide encouragement, shared experiences and practical resources. National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) and Mental Health America (MHA) have local locations across the country. Churches, hospitals and behavioral organizations also have support groups.
• Consider professional support. Individual counseling or therapy can help caregivers manage stress and develop coping strategies. Many health insurance companies cover the cost of mental health services: check your provider’s website to see who is in network.
• Protect important relationships. Caring for a child with mental health needs can strain partnerships and family dynamics. Making time for connection helps maintain the support system the whole family relies on.

Supporting Your Child’s Growth and Independence

Children and teens benefit from structure, encouragement and opportunities to build skills.

• Set clear expectations and consistent limits. Structure—especially when children are experiencing mental health challenges—helps children feel safe and learn responsibility. Structure and limits should be individualized to fit your child and your family. Professional support can be a great help here.
• Encourage independence. Empower your child to take on daily independence. Before doing tasks for your child that are age-appropriate for them, make a point of supporting their gradual ownership of those skills by building coping and problem-solving skills. Professionals might be involved in this too! Independence in daily living skills helps create long-term resilience and success.
• Work closely with treatment providers. They can help families balance safety with growing independence.
• Plan for transitions. As teens approach adulthood, gradually increasing responsibility and decision-making helps prepare them for the future. Setbacks may occur, but with support, they become opportunities to build resilience.