When we hear the word “chores,” what comes to mind? Do we think of tedious tasks we dread doing at the end of a long day? Do we picture endless battles with our children about cleaning up or taking out the trash?
Reframing how we think about chores can result in lightening our workload while providing our children with opportunities to learn valuable life skills. Teaching children to take on household jobs helps build their confidence, increases competence with specific skills, strengthens their sense of responsibility and allows them to feel proud and happy about being helpful family members.
Parents and caregivers can implement simple steps to teach children to help with chores.
Organize
Hold a family meeting to explain why it is important for every family member to help with chores. Tell kids that when everyone helps, parents have more time and energy to spend having fun with them. Share that pitching in makes things fair for everyone.
Create a list of household jobs that children can do. If possible, allow children to choose their jobs. Make sure every family member has a job that is safe and appropriate for their age, skill level and development. Even young children can lend a hand with an adult’s help and guidance.
Create a chore chart and post it in a spot that children will easily see. Include pictures of jobs for children who do not read yet. If you plan to rotate chores, do so on a weekly basis to keep things easy and avoid arguments.
Teach
Tell children how to do their chores and tell them exactly when you will be checking to make sure jobs have been completed satisfactorily.
If your child needs assistance, it is okay to help him get started with a job. Demonstrate how to do the work and give one positive reminder each day that chores need to be done by the set time.
Reinforce
Let your child know what the consequences will be for not completing her jobs satisfactorily by the scheduled time. Avoid nagging, bribing, or threatening.
Be sure to follow the schedule and check that chores are done as expected by the set time. When your child successfully completes their chores, acknowledge their effort and achievement. “Crystal, you put away the dishes and wiped the table. That was very helpful!” “Anthony, you put all of your cars in the toy bin before dinner. Now the floor is clean. Good for you.”
If chores are not completed correctly by the set time, tell your child what the problem is. “Sean, you haven’t washed the dishes. You will lose screen time tonight.” Ignore whining, complaining, or negotiating. Carry out the consequence. When possible, leave the chore for the child to do the next day. Be consistent and your child will soon learn to complete their jobs as expected.
After a week of using the jobs schedule, have a family meeting to review how the plan is going. This is the time to listen to your children’s opinions about any changes you might make in the plan. Show respect for their ideas and make adjustments that you feel are reasonable, or calmly explain why changes cannot be made.
Celebrate
As children learn to do chores, you should not need to continue to remind them to do their jobs. You can gradually reduce the amount of help you give them and may not even need to continue posting the job schedule.
Continue to acknowledge children’s contributions and efforts even after they become champions at helping out around the house. Everyone likes to feel appreciated!
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