Building Healthy Self-Esteem in Children

Self-esteem is the foundation of how your child views the world—and themselves. It’s shaped by their experiences, environment, and the people who matter most to them (yes, that’s you!). A strong, healthy self-esteem fuels their happiness, resilience, and success.

But here’s the hard truth: children with low self-esteem often face a rougher road. They may avoid challenges, feel they’re “not enough,” or struggle with anxiety or misbehavior. As parents and caregivers, we have the power to be their greatest champions, shaping how they see themselves and what they believe they can achieve.

Why Self-Esteem Matters

Self-esteem is your child’s inner strength. It boosts their happiness, helps them bounce back from setbacks, and shapes how they approach relationships, learning, and life.

When Self-Esteem Takes a Hit

Low self-esteem shows up as fear of failure, giving up too easily, or acting out. It can lead to anxiety, sadness, or poor behavior.

Low self-esteem often stems from:

• Lack of Praise: They need recognition for effort, not just results.
• Negative Comparisons: Constantly being measured against others can crush their spirit.
• Critical Words: Harsh comments can linger in their minds, eroding their sense of worth.

How You Can Build Their Confidence—Step by Step

1. Shower Them with Meaningful Praise
   Celebrate the effort, not just the outcome. Say things like, “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that project” or “I love how creative you were with this!”
2. Show Them They’re Loved, Always
   Make sure your child knows they’re valued—not for what they do but for who they are. Say it often: “I love you,” “I’m so glad I get to spend time with you,” and show it by being fully present.
3. Help Them Set Goals and Reflect on Wins
   Teach them how to set realistic, achievable goals. When they accomplish something, ask, “How do you feel about what you’ve done?” Encourage them to take pride in their efforts.
4. Normalize Mistakes
   Talk openly about your own missteps and how you learned from them. Remind them that mistakes are just stepping stones to success. “It’s okay to mess up—it’s how we grow!”
5. Coach Them Through Disappointments
   When things don’t go their way, be their calm in the storm. Let them vent, validate their feelings, and help them brainstorm ways to try again.
6. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
   Equip your child with tools to tackle challenges independently:
• Define the problem.
• Brainstorm possible solutions.
• Pick one solution and try it.
• Reflect on what worked—and tweak if needed.

Your child’s self-esteem is their secret weapon against life’s ups and downs. By nurturing their confidence with love, encouragement, and the tools to succeed, you’re not just helping them face today’s challenges—you’re empowering them to thrive for a lifetime.

If you are looking for more tips around positive parenting, Nationwide Children’s Hospital offers free Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) support on a wide variety of topics for parents of young children. For more information, email TripleP@NationwideChildrens.org or call (614) 355-8099.