When Kids Draw Violent Pictures, Should you Worry?

Your 5-year-old proudly hands you a drawing of fairies in battle. You see glittering fairy wings and then notice what looks like blood splatters across the page. For a moment, your heart skips. You begin wondering, did they see something scary? Are they expressing fear? Should I be worried?

It’s natural to feel unsettled by unusual or troubling imagery in your child’s drawings. It’s also safe to reflect on your child’s experiences and how to support them. Before going down a rabbit hole of potentially distressing thoughts (which we all sometimes do!), take space to catch your breath and reflect. Children often use art to express, explore, and process their experiences. Their artwork is an expression of their creativity and imagination, and when shown in these ways can serve as clues about their thoughts and feelings.

Here are ways you can calmly approach these situations with an open-mind and sensitivity:

Be mindful of your reaction: Children are exceptional at reading parent’s cues. So consider how you are showing up in the moment (body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice). Be neutral in your tone and body language, even if the drawing surprises you. Responses that reflect shock, anger, fear, or judgment could result in your child shutting down.

I reacted on instinct: We all react based on how we learned to react. Breaking our usual pattern and reflecting in the moment is challenging. It’s okay to not get this right the first time or every time! If you respond in a way that leaves you and your child feeling disconnected (rupture), there’s always another chance to make it right (repair).  When that happens, Step back, Breathe, and Reflect (grown-up time-out), then Re-engage (time-in for your child)! Apologize for your reaction, validate your child’s feelings to your reaction, and start the conversation again. When ruptures in relationships happen, it’s never too late to repair!

Start a conversation: Rather than interpret the drawing, be curious with them about what their picture means. Keep questions clear, concise, and general. You could say, ‘Tell me about your picture’ or ‘Who is this person?’ Their answers will prompt you to ask for more information, if needed. By letting your child tell their story, they feel seen and heard. Engaging them in this way opens the door for future connection and sharing; especially during their difficult times.

Keep context in mind: A single drawing rarely tells the whole story. Context matters. Did something happen that explains the theme of their drawing? Maybe a recent trip, video game, or movie? Keep in mind, one-off drawings, even intense ones, are typically reflections of your child’s perception of their world.

However, if you notice recurring pictures or themes, or frequently expressed fear, sadness, or anger in their art, it might be worth taking a closer look.

Age matters: Young children often find it easier to draw than to write. This is because they are learning to master the alphabet and still developing their language and fine motor skills. Drawing can be a great tool for self-expression and can lead to many meaningful and creative conversations with children; especially about concepts they’re not yet able to fully express in words.

When to Seek Help: While most drawings are simply a reflection of creative play, there are times when seeking professional guidance will be helpful. If your child’s artwork consistently includes troubling images or themes or if their behaviors change significantly, it may be worth consulting with a child psychologist or other mental health professional for additional support.