7 Ways to Help Kids Cope Through Change

Change is a natural and constant part of life, and whether or not the change is welcome, it can take time to get used to it. Kids may struggle to adjust to big events like gaining new family members, switching schools, family losses, or moving to a new home, as these changes can really shake up family routines and relationships. Here are some important ways you can help your kids cope with the big changes in their lives.

1. Plan structured activities. Kids thrive on predictability and structure. Disruptions to usual routines can amplify stress and leave children feeling overwhelmed. If a big change disrupts daily routines, try planning other activities that can occupy your child and help maintain a sense of structure and normalcy in your child’s day. Establish new routines whenever possible and stick to them consistently to restore predictability, reduce stress, and support your child’s ability to adapt and move forward.
2. Talk about changes when they happen. Rather than waiting for your child to bring it up first, plan a direct conversation about what has changed, including why it happened and what it means for your child. Sometimes grown-ups avoid talking about difficult changes to avoid stirring up big feelings in their children, but children can misinterpret the avoidance and conclude that the topic is off-limits. When you talk about difficult topics directly, children learn that it is okay to talk to you about those things when they are ready.
3. Make space for varied reactions. Keep in mind that each family member may react to the same big change in very different ways. It can be tempting to assume you know how your child is feeling, especially if you find yourself having your own big feelings about the change. Set aside your feelings while you listen to your child’s perspective with curiosity. Acknowledge that your child’s feelings about the situation are valid, whether similar or different from your own, and keep in mind that their feelings—like yours—may evolve with time.
4. Create a visual schedule.  When kids are stressed or overwhelmed, tasks that used to be easy can suddenly feel like too much. Stress can also make it harder for children to remember important things or transition between activities, especially if they are uncertain what changed and what stayed the same. You can help your child stay calm and informed during uncertain times by creating a visual schedule of their routine activities. For younger children, keep it simple and use pictures to represent each of their major activities or transitions. Older children can be involved in creating the visual schedule by choosing how to depict each activity and drawing or coloring the images.
5. Prioritize positive attention and connection.  Children’s relationships with their primary caregivers are the key to their ability to cope with stress. Young children in particular need more one-on-one time and attention from their caregiver during uncertain times. This can be tricky if caregivers are balancing multiple family demands. Carve out at least 5 minutes each day when you can devote your attention fully to connecting with your child and enjoying their company. This time can help everyone take a break from the stress of difficult family changes and can demonstrate to your child that you are there for them.
6. Pay attention to sleep and nutrition. Change affects more than our emotional adjustment: it’s hard on our bodies, too! The stress of adjusting to big life changes can cause problems with sleep and appetite. Staying well-rested and well-fed helps people of all ages to cope with stress. Children coping with big changes might need extra help to maintain regular meals and a consistent sleep schedule.
7. Take care of your own stress. Young children have a “sixth sense” for their caregivers’ stress, and they are more likely to feel safe and calm if their caregivers are calm. As they get older, one important way they learn to cope is by watching their caregivers cope with big feelings. Be sure to check in and be honest with yourself about how you are coping and do what you need to process your own reactions to life changes before supporting your child with their own reactions.