Supporting Your Teen: Parenting Strategies for Today’s Challenges

Parenting a teenager is a hard job and can be overwhelming for both parents and their kids. Teens are learning to manage emotional shifts, hormonal changes, and increasing independence. From academic pressures and social dynamics to the influence of social media, it is important to find creative strategies and solutions that can address tough moments, handle difficult situations and guide your teen through adolescence. These strategies can empower parents to effectively navigate the complexities of raising teenagers during this transformative stage of life.

Deposit Into a Love Account

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your teen is crucial. Think of this relationship like a bank account—you can’t withdraw without depositing first, or you risk ending up with a negative balance. It's important to keep this "love account" full.

Provide your teen specific praise when you see them displaying favorable behaviors. Before tensions escalate, prioritize spending quality time together. Whether it's taking a walk, listening to music, cooking a meal, or watching a show, these activities serve as deposits that strengthen your bond. Investing in these moments helps prevent emotional strain and makes navigating challenges a smoother experience.

The Exit and Wait Strategy

When conflicts arise, it's important to model effective conflict resolution skills as a parent. If emotions run high, pause, and become aware of your own emotions. Step away briefly to prevent escalation. When you are calm, you can better help your teen manage their emotions. Set and reaffirm boundaries. You can say, “It’s ok to be mad and it’s ok to be frustrated. It’s not ok to (…scream at mom, use that language with dad, etc).” Consider providing alternative ways to express frustration or anger that are appropriate, like getting some fresh air, taking a deep breath, etc. This shows your teen the importance of maintaining respectful communication, even when facing challenges. 

By implementing this approach, parents can create an environment where constructive dialogue and mutual understanding thrive. Listen, empathize, approach with curiosity, and avoid judgement. Ask for permission before giving advice or wait for your teen to ask for your input when problem-solving. 

Establishing Clear and Consistent Expectations

Creating clear and consistent expectations will help ensure everyone is on the same page. Teens like to know what the limits are. Clear consequences for actions, coupled with positive incentives like relaxed curfew for meeting expectations, can motivate teens positively. Being clear and consistent with expectations and consequences will help your teenager take ownership of their actions and develop decision-making skills.

Seeking Support

Don't hesitate to seek help from external resources like mentors, mental health counselors or supportive adults for your teen. Equally important is finding your own support network—whether it's friends, clergy, or counselors—to navigate the challenges of parenting. Model self-care for your teen by taking the time to care for your own physical, emotional, and social needs.

Practicing Forgiveness

Remember, perfection isn't realistic in parenting. Acknowledging mistakes and practicing self-compassion strengthens your relationship with your teen. Forgiving yourself for imperfections sets a positive example for your teen on the importance of self-forgiveness.

Extending forgiveness to your teen is equally important. Adolescence is a time of growth and learning, and mistakes are inevitable. By forgiving your teen for their missteps, you can create an atmosphere of understanding and trust.