When we’re ready to make changes, we get excited and often want to change everything all at once. Sometimes we try to make big changes in an effort to get healthier, start something new, or do the things we’ve always said we wanted to do. But often, these changes do not “stick” for long and we find ourselves feeling frustrated or even angry at ourselves.
Understanding why it is so hard to make changes can be helpful. Oftentimes, changes do not “stick” because we have not made the right goal, we’ve tried to take on too much, or we have not thought through what we can do if we run into a roadblock. Using SMART goals can help us set goals that feel doable, achievable, and realistic.
What is a SMART Goal?
Specific
A SMART goal clearly defines what you want to work on. Rather than saying, “I want my child to act better,” it can be more effective to focus on what you can control.
The goal is not to change the child’s behavior directly, but to intentionally strengthen the caregiver-child relationship through positive interactions. For example, a specific goal may be to increase daily positive interactions between a caregiver and a child.
Measurable
To measure progress, the goal should include clear details. For example, a caregiver may decide to spend 15–20 minutes of uninterrupted, one-on-one time at least two days a week doing a shared activity their child enjoys, such as playing a game, reading or drawing together, ideally without screens.
Tracking this time on a calendar or simple chart can help caregivers stay consistent and recognize small successes.
Attainable
An effective goal should feel realistic within the context of daily life. Caregivers should consider work schedules, family responsibilities and energy levels. While challenges and setbacks are normal, identifying support, such as adjusting routines or setting boundaries around distractions, can make the goal more achievable. Kids also love planning out Special Time on a calendar, so they can know exactly when it will be!
Relevant
Goals are most successful when they align with what matters most. Choosing a goal that supports emotional connection can help reduce stress for both caregiver and child while strengthening trust and communication.
Time-Bound
Setting a timeframe helps caregivers reflect and reassess. A period of two months is often considered a reasonable amount of time to build a new habit or skill. At the end of that period, caregivers can pause and evaluate what is working, what feels challenging and if adjustments need to be made.
Modeling Healthy Goal Setting for Kids
Whether the goal is related to parenting, health or personal growth, setting SMART goals helps reduce unrealistic expectations and emotional pressure that often accompany new changes, habits, or routines. It also provides a valuable opportunity to model calm problem-solving and resilience for children.
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Eileen Chaves, PhD, MSc, isa Pediatric Psychologistin theCenter for Healthy Weight and Nutrition (CHWN)andan Assistant Professor atThe Ohio State University College of Medicine.She has lectured nationally on the topics of weight bias and stigma and eating disorders/disordered eating in pediatric obesity.
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