How to Talk to Your Kids About Drugs and Alcohol

First published June 2018
Updated August 2025

Parents play a very important role in preventing children from starting to use drugs and alcohol. It is important to start talking to your children about alcohol and other drugs before they are exposed, as early as age 9.

Before you begin your conversation

• Make sure it is a good time to talk, and you can focus 100% on your child
• Be calm and patient
• Gather your thoughts before you approach your child
• Have a plan

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s “Talk they Hear You” campaign helps parents and educators with conversations with children to prevent substance use.  They recommend five conversation goals when talking to kids about alcohol and drugs to use in your plan:

1. Show you disapprove of underage drinking and other drug use. Send a clear and strong message
   Research shows that over 80% of youth cite their parents as being the number one influence on their decision to drink. 
2. Show you care about your child’s health, wellness, and success.
   Show concern and reinforce that you are on your child’s side to keep them safe and healthy.  Reinforce why you don’t want them to drink or use drugs, so that they can stay safe. 
3. Show you are a good source of information about alcohol and other drugs
   Establish yourself as the most important and trustworthy source of information regarding drugs and alcohol. Don’t be afraid to answer questions your child may have about drugs, how they make someone feel, and what the dangers are.  You want your child to learn first about drugs and alcohol from you, not unreliable information from social media or their friends.
4. Show you’re paying attention, and you’ll discourage risky behaviors
   Teenagers are more likely to drink and use drugs if they think no one will notice. Show you’re aware of what your child is up to and who they are hanging out with. 
5. Build your child’s skills for avoiding alcohol and drugs
   Peer pressure is powerful. Help your child have a plan to avoid alcohol and drug use. Develop a script your child can use, have a safe code word that can be texted if your child is in an uncomfortable situation with drugs and alcohol.

Remember to listen with respect, show understanding and avoid negative emotions. Give encouragement and positive feedback where needed.

You don’t have to get across everything in one conversation! Keep it low key and plan to have many talks to keep the line of communication open.

The Kids Mental Health Foundation has more information on talking to your child about substances, along with free conversation starters.

If you have any concerns you should talk to your child and if necessary, obtain a comprehensive substance abuse assessment by an addiction professional. Substance abuse is more easily treated if caught early and appropriate treatment is initiated.

At Nationwide Children’s Hospital, the Substance Use Treatment and Recovery Program in the Division of Adolescent Medicine helps youth age 12-25 with a variety of substance use disorders including nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, opioid, stimulants, benzodiazepines, and more. Call (614) 355-8614 to schedule an appointment.