Teaching Your Kids About Kindness: Don't Miss the Mark

First published November 2017
Updated April 2026

Most parents want their children to grow into kind, caring adults. But in a busy world filled with academic pressure, activities and daily responsibilities, children may receive the message that achievement or happiness matters more than kindness.

Research shows that children pay close attention to what adults say and do. The way parents model behavior, talk about others and respond to challenges plays a powerful role in shaping empathy, compassion and social skills. Teaching kindness helps children build strong relationships, manage conflict and support their own mental health.

World Kindness Day is November 13 each year and focuses on the importance of showing kindness to others through small, simple gestures. We don’t have to stop there, though! We can show kindness every day.

Why Kindness Matters for Child Development

Kindness and empathy are essential life skills. Children who learn to care about others are more likely to:

• Build positive friendships and relationships
• Develop strong social and emotional skills
• Handle conflict in healthy ways
• Feel a sense of connection and belonging
• Support their own emotional well-being

How to Teach Kindness

Kindness is learned through daily experiences. Small, consistent actions make a lasting impact.

• Model the behavior you want to see. Children learn by watching adults. Use polite language, show patience and speak respectfully about others — even during stressful moments.
• Talk about kindness in daily life. Point out examples of helping, sharing or including others. Discuss how actions affect people’s feelings and what empathy looks like in different situations.
• Practice simple acts of kindness and encourage children to:
  • Hold the door for someone
  • Write thank-you or appreciation notes
  • Donate gently used toys or clothing
  • Help a neighbor, friend or family member
  • Include someone who may feel left out
• Build gratitude into routines. At dinner or bedtime, ask children to share:
  • Something they are thankful for
  • A time they helped someone
  • A moment when someone showed them kindness
• Use challenges as teaching moments. When a child experiences unkind behavior, talk through what happened. Ask what they were feeling, how the other person might have felt and what they could do differently next time.

Making Kindness a Year-Round Habit

Special days that celebrate kindness can be a helpful reminder, but the most meaningful lessons come from everyday practice. Consistent modeling, conversation and encouragement help kindness become a natural part of how children think and act. Prioritizing empathy and respect helps children learn that caring for others is just as important as success or achievement.